I knew all of you IRL.

“[One of my mom's co-workers] said, 'I saw reviews of your son's book in the paper.' And then my mom was like, 'I gotta read this stupid book you just wrote, cos, you know, how many ways did you embarrass our family?' And so then she read the book and she was really upset. And she called me screaming, saying, 'I'm gonna have to change your sister's name now.'"

I think it was in London Fields that Martin Amis gave voice to the notion of there never being any fiction in fiction, it's all real life. They just write it like it's fiction.

Denise*, it was you who said that that's why writers and their lovers always get into fights, and why their friends never want to talk to them.

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*A non-fiction writer and friend, who hasn't talked to me in ages.