Marriage, test-drives and antiquated values.

Again on marriage, though I don't have much time for this post.

I'm not friends with many people who marry for status, not because I'm prejudiced against them but because they're of a different league and our circles don't coincide. I'm sure they're nice people. Most people I consider friends marry for companionship, and that includes my parents' friends. I'm not so sure about people ten years older than my parents; I think marrying for companionship started in Malaysia in the late 60s/early 70s (must research by talking to older people). But the trouble with marrying for companionship is that you can make the wrong choice. As a friend of mine put it recently [hi], "for most people, it wasn't like they can test drive, or anything like that."

A considerable number of people do test-drive their partner, I'm sure. Even my friend's quantifier "for most people" shows that there's some test-driving being done out there. And there's probably different variations of test-driving. I'm sure some people test-drive the sex, while some don't touch the sex but test-drive living together; some test drive both, and so on. But pre-marital relations is a taboo subject in Malaysia -- this makes talking about it feel less like a celebration of common sense and more like walking into a gooey, slimey pit of secret bad behaviour.

I don't want to become a writer who talks about decadence, because it's not my style. And here I come to my conundrum -- being in love with somebody and sharing a life with him is a wonderful thing. Why can't I discuss it in a way that's wholesome?

And I guess that's my grouse about marriage -- it's not so much that I think "marriage" is not cute. I take back what I said two posts ago. Yes, I like marriage. Yes, I think it's cute. But I guess what I dislike is the antiquated values that we KL-ites wrap around the concept.

(Okay, now we're getting somewhere with my thought process. Thanks for coming along for the ride!)